| Who | Quote | References | |
|---|
 anon | |
| fail to prepare and prepare to fail | |  |
| Bob Hope | |
| She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction | | |
| David Brent | |
| Assume and you make an Ass out of you and me | | |
| David Mulvey | |
| In the land of the blind the one eyed monster is king | | |
| Geoffery Boycott | |
| More brains in a pork pie | | |
| Ghostlight | |
| Thicker than a whale omelette | | |
| Ian Holloway | |
| I love Blackpool, we are very similar. We both look better in the dark! | | |
| England were so boring that I went on eBay to buy a table! | | |
| James Trusler | |
| Why are Hot Cross Buns so nice? It's like Madonna jumped in my mouth and had a party | | |
| Maybe the England team shuld try substituting Beckham with alcohol | | |
| I don't like this song, it makes me feel sick. | | |
| Lord Alan Sugar | |
| I have read all your CVs and on paper you all look very good. But then again so does fish and chips | | |
| Malcolm in the Middle | |
| MOM is an upside down WOW | | |
| Mark Twain | |
| I have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened. | | |
| If I would have had more time, I would have written you a shorter letter. | | |
| SlartiBartFast | |
| Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day. | | |
| SnowyTheRabbit | |
| Management consultants borrow your watch then charge you to tell you the time | | |
| somebody | |
| Learn from the mistakes of others. Don't try to do them all yourself, you'll never live long enough. | | |
| Suggs | |
| There is no justice, just us | | |
| Tony Curtis | |
| Never be seen with a woman old enough to be your wife | | |