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Hide details for Adam FosterAdam Foster
It's subjective but not that bloody subjective
Hide details for Albert EinsteinAlbert Einstein
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving
Hide details for Alex JamesAlex James
Food is one of life's really great pleasures. My 20th birthday party was all about booze, my 30th birthday was about drugs, and now I realise that my 40s are about food. It's something you appreciate more and more as you get older.
Hide details for anonanon
fail to prepare and prepare to fail
Hide details for A. A. GillA. A. Gill
The rule with snails is: Don’t eat one you couldn’t get up your nose.
Hide details for Barry HumphriesBarry Humphries
If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.
Hide details for Ben HoganBen Hogan
Well, the more I practice, the luckier I get.
Hide details for Bob HopeBob Hope
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction
Hide details for Cecil B. deMilleCecil B. deMille
It is impossible for us to break the law, only to break ourselves against the law
Hide details for Daley ThompsonDaley Thompson
it doesn't matter what I eat I'll just burn it off
Hide details for Dame Edna EveridgeDame Edna Everidge
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century
Hide details for Dave at OrionDave at Orion
Better to be over dressed than over looked
Hide details for David BrentDavid Brent
Assume and you make an Ass out of you and me
Hide details for David MulveyDavid Mulvey
In the land of the blind the one eyed monster is king
Hide details for Geoffery BoycottGeoffery Boycott
More brains in a pork pie
Hide details for GhostlightGhostlight
Thicker than a whale omelette
Hide details for Groucho MarxGroucho Marx
I never forget a face but in your case i will make an exception
Hide details for Heather ArrowsmithHeather Arrowsmith
I always love useless presents, but I can never think of anything useless that I really need.
Hide details for Ian HollowayIan Holloway
I love Blackpool, we are very similar. We both look better in the dark!
England were so boring that I went on eBay to buy a table!
Hide details for Isaac AsimovIsaac Asimov
Congratulations on the new library, because it isn't just a library. It is a space ship that will take you to the farthest reaches of the Universe, a time machine that will take you to the far past and the far future, a teacher that knows more than any human being, a friend that will amuse you and console you---and most of all, a gateway, to a better and happier and more useful life.
Hide details for James CordenJames Corden
I only go out to meet someone to stay in with
Hide details for James TruslerJames Trusler
Why are Hot Cross Buns so nice? It's like Madonna jumped in my mouth and had a party
Maybe the England team shuld try substituting Beckham with alcohol
I don't like this song, it makes me feel sick.
Hide details for Lesley NielsenLesley Nielsen
Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
Hide details for Leslie NielsenLeslie Nielsen
It looks like the cows have come home to roost
Hide details for Lord Alan SugarLord Alan Sugar
I have read all your CVs and on paper you all look very good. But then again so does fish and chips
Hide details for Mae WestMae West
Better to be looked over than overlooked
Hide details for Mahatma GandhiMahatma Gandhi
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
Hide details for Malcolm in the MiddleMalcolm in the Middle
MOM is an upside down WOW
Hide details for Malcolm MuggeridgeMalcolm Muggeridge
only dead fish swim with the stream
Hide details for Mark TwainMark Twain
I have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened.
If I would have had more time, I would have written you a shorter letter.
Hide details for SlartiBartFastSlartiBartFast
Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day.
Hide details for SnowyTheRabbitSnowyTheRabbit
Management consultants borrow your watch then charge you to tell you the time
Hide details for somebodysomebody
Learn from the mistakes of others. Don't try to do them all yourself, you'll never live long enough.
Hide details for SuggsSuggs
There is no justice, just us
Hide details for Thomas JeffersonThomas Jefferson
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
Hide details for Tim O'ReillyTim O'Reilly
my problem isn’t piracy, it’s obscurity
Hide details for TinyTiny
I love Thursday nights... the start of Fridays
Hide details for Tony CurtisTony Curtis
Never be seen with a woman old enough to be your wife
Hide details for Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill
The nation had the lion's heart. I had the luck to give the roar
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